Then, after many years of study, Dr. Arsovski realized that the females were undersized and dying young. He also realized those once-comical copulatory trains were made up of many males pursuing just one female. When the female tired, the train would become a frenzied heap of reptiles. “She’s literally buried by males,” Dr. Arsovski said.

He and his co-authors wrote that as part of the tortoises’ courtship, they “bump, bite (sometimes to the point of blood loss), mount and finally vigorously poke fleeing females” with a sharp tail tip. Three-quarters of the island’s females had genital injuries.

Jesus christ, those poor creatures. I’d be tempted to save the females, move them over to the mainland, and let the males sort themselves out.