I don’t get why Americans think everything in Australia will kill you. You know what we don’t have in Australia? BEARS! A fully grown polar bear will fuck you up like nothing else on this planet. It is the only animal that actively hunts humans. Of course brown & grizzly bears are killers too.
What about a nice, safe grazing animal? Look out - that’s a MOOSE and it will end your life on a whim.
Safer in the water? That’s where SHARKS live. Yes, that’s right, they live in the same ocean that we have here. The United States leads in documented shark attacks, with Florida accounting for nearly half of U.S. incidents.
Of course its not just big animals that can kill & maim. That cute little squirrel? That’s got RABIES. 100% fatal once symptoms show, its an extremely unpleasant end.
Of course if having your brain melted is how you get off, you’ve come to the right place. How about a dose of CJD from eating a ZOMBIE DEER? Nothing like the creeping inevitability of a prion disease to put a spark in your step.
Not biblical enough? How about a dose of BLACK PLAGUE? Easily treated with cheap antibiotics, hope your health system is up to it.
I could go on with the BOBCATS, SNAKES (13 times more deaths than Australia in 2025) and so on but you get the point.
Everything in America is trying to kill you.
Dude. You forgot all the natural disasters that happen here. We have cyclones and hurricanes, as well as earthquakes, tornadoes, blizzards, flash flooding, the occasional locusts, and of course fire season.
No, you read that correctly. In the American southwest there is a “fire season” we are in the beginning stages of that right now. Ironically it’s also when we get the majority of our rainfall.
I don’t get why Americans think everything in Australia will kill you. You know what we don’t have in Australia? BEARS! A fully grown polar bear will fuck you up like nothing else on this planet. It is the only animal that actively hunts humans. Of course brown & grizzly bears are killers too.
What about a nice, safe grazing animal? Look out - that’s a MOOSE and it will end your life on a whim.
Safer in the water? That’s where SHARKS live. Yes, that’s right, they live in the same ocean that we have here. The United States leads in documented shark attacks, with Florida accounting for nearly half of U.S. incidents.
Of course its not just big animals that can kill & maim. That cute little squirrel? That’s got RABIES. 100% fatal once symptoms show, its an extremely unpleasant end.
Of course if having your brain melted is how you get off, you’ve come to the right place. How about a dose of CJD from eating a ZOMBIE DEER? Nothing like the creeping inevitability of a prion disease to put a spark in your step.
Not biblical enough? How about a dose of BLACK PLAGUE? Easily treated with cheap antibiotics, hope your health system is up to it.
I could go on with the BOBCATS, SNAKES (13 times more deaths than Australia in 2025) and so on but you get the point.
Everything in America is trying to kill you.
Including the government.
Dude. You forgot all the natural disasters that happen here. We have cyclones and hurricanes, as well as earthquakes, tornadoes, blizzards, flash flooding, the occasional locusts, and of course fire season.
No, you read that correctly. In the American southwest there is a “fire season” we are in the beginning stages of that right now. Ironically it’s also when we get the majority of our rainfall.