Time heals all wounds. But you do have to stop picking at the scabs.
Get a gf. She says “good morning <3”. You feel like shit, so let her know. “<3 you too. Rough start. Hope your day is going better.” You might be surprised what you get back.
It’s funny, there was another thread a while back about a girl who meets a guy and clicks. They hook up. She keeps trying to be sweet to him and he ghosts her. So she goes into her own depressive spiral because she assumes she’s the one who isn’t enough.
Other people have shitty days too. Other people are going through what you’re going through. Other people will understand. Reach out, speak your truth, and if that chemistry you had at the beginning meant anything it’ll mean they’re sympathetic to your plight.
And then go do some fun shit together. FFS, it’s a nice time to be alive. Get some sun, eat some food, suck in some fresh air, and hold hands. See if that doesn’t put you in a better mood. Sometimes it really is just a bad start to a normal day.
I feel like I don’t have much to offer a woman. I’m in my mid twenties and I can’t drive a car, I have a crappy job, and I still live with my parents. I do want someone I can be honest and authentic with. I feel like what I can bring to a relationship isn’t enough though.
I’m in my mid twenties and I can’t drive a car, I have a crappy job, and I still live with my parents.
Can you hold someone’s hand while they rant about their shitty day? Can you pack a lunch, hail an Uber or find a bus for a day at the park, and rub someone’s feet while you both sit in the sun? Can you carry a tune or tell a joke? Can you show up on time for a date?
You’d be surprised how many people can’t. Lots of people have shitty jobs in their mid twenties. Lots of people still live with their parents because rent is so obscene. You’re not alone.
I feel like what I can bring to a relationship isn’t enough though.
Meet other people. Show them a good time. Let them be the judge. Don’t hang this on yourself beforehand
I can do all of those things. Have I been over thinking things? I’m told I’m a funny guy, I’m not even trying to be. I just say what i’m thinking and people either love that or hate it. Thank you!
Can you tell a joke? Treat women respectfully (not in a ‘nice guy’ way, in a general ‘I’m not gonna say fucked up shit to her, and instead treat her like a normal human being’)? Hold a conversation? Create a sense of comfort and fun times (fun does not have to cost much, you can get creative)?
This puts you miles ahead of some other guys with the right women. As a recently single guy, tentatively being open and flirty while watching the behaviours of others for comparison/research purposes, there’s some real assholes out there, and apparently that’s a pretty common experience for single women. The bar doesn’t seem all that high these days, despite what certain corners of the internet would have you believe (and my god, algorithms get fucking weird for recently separated guys at least).
One thing I will say is that the aspects of your life that seem like liabilities in this post are changeable (with varying levels of effort), if you want to. Learning to drive is likely the lowest hanging fruit, which also gives you more options to try and improve the job situation and from there change your living situation.
It can get better homie. Just one foot in front of the other, in the direction you want to go.
Would you want a woman who’s similar to you in what you can offer? If so, look for one. If not, wait. Regardless, work to resolve your sources of insecurity. Your crappy job is probably why you still live with your parents and times are tough, but pursue employment that allows for more independence. If a car is necessary and you can learn, start trying to learn. If not, develop comfort with your alternative transit options or look into trying to find a way to move somewhere where transit works for you. If none of that is possible, develop skills you think would make you a desirable partner. What do you want to offer?
It’s so easy to find ourselves stuck in a hole in our lives and not understand that many of our problems are solvable. At the very least we can chip away at them.
Also the secret to people is that people like people who they feel good around. Especially people everyone feels good around. That guy who’s fun, jovial, and everyone likes, he tends to have options romantically even if he’s broke and not the best looking.
Time heals all wounds. But you do have to stop picking at the scabs.
Get a gf. She says “good morning <3”. You feel like shit, so let her know. “<3 you too. Rough start. Hope your day is going better.” You might be surprised what you get back.
It’s funny, there was another thread a while back about a girl who meets a guy and clicks. They hook up. She keeps trying to be sweet to him and he ghosts her. So she goes into her own depressive spiral because she assumes she’s the one who isn’t enough.
Other people have shitty days too. Other people are going through what you’re going through. Other people will understand. Reach out, speak your truth, and if that chemistry you had at the beginning meant anything it’ll mean they’re sympathetic to your plight.
And then go do some fun shit together. FFS, it’s a nice time to be alive. Get some sun, eat some food, suck in some fresh air, and hold hands. See if that doesn’t put you in a better mood. Sometimes it really is just a bad start to a normal day.
I feel like I don’t have much to offer a woman. I’m in my mid twenties and I can’t drive a car, I have a crappy job, and I still live with my parents. I do want someone I can be honest and authentic with. I feel like what I can bring to a relationship isn’t enough though.
Can you hold someone’s hand while they rant about their shitty day? Can you pack a lunch, hail an Uber or find a bus for a day at the park, and rub someone’s feet while you both sit in the sun? Can you carry a tune or tell a joke? Can you show up on time for a date?
You’d be surprised how many people can’t. Lots of people have shitty jobs in their mid twenties. Lots of people still live with their parents because rent is so obscene. You’re not alone.
Meet other people. Show them a good time. Let them be the judge. Don’t hang this on yourself beforehand
I can do all of those things. Have I been over thinking things? I’m told I’m a funny guy, I’m not even trying to be. I just say what i’m thinking and people either love that or hate it. Thank you!
Can you tell a joke? Treat women respectfully (not in a ‘nice guy’ way, in a general ‘I’m not gonna say fucked up shit to her, and instead treat her like a normal human being’)? Hold a conversation? Create a sense of comfort and fun times (fun does not have to cost much, you can get creative)?
This puts you miles ahead of some other guys with the right women. As a recently single guy, tentatively being open and flirty while watching the behaviours of others for comparison/research purposes, there’s some real assholes out there, and apparently that’s a pretty common experience for single women. The bar doesn’t seem all that high these days, despite what certain corners of the internet would have you believe (and my god, algorithms get fucking weird for recently separated guys at least).
One thing I will say is that the aspects of your life that seem like liabilities in this post are changeable (with varying levels of effort), if you want to. Learning to drive is likely the lowest hanging fruit, which also gives you more options to try and improve the job situation and from there change your living situation.
It can get better homie. Just one foot in front of the other, in the direction you want to go.
Would you want a woman who’s similar to you in what you can offer? If so, look for one. If not, wait. Regardless, work to resolve your sources of insecurity. Your crappy job is probably why you still live with your parents and times are tough, but pursue employment that allows for more independence. If a car is necessary and you can learn, start trying to learn. If not, develop comfort with your alternative transit options or look into trying to find a way to move somewhere where transit works for you. If none of that is possible, develop skills you think would make you a desirable partner. What do you want to offer?
It’s so easy to find ourselves stuck in a hole in our lives and not understand that many of our problems are solvable. At the very least we can chip away at them.
Also the secret to people is that people like people who they feel good around. Especially people everyone feels good around. That guy who’s fun, jovial, and everyone likes, he tends to have options romantically even if he’s broke and not the best looking.