It’s both. It’s easy to fall into a pattern of fighting for a relationship that isn’t worth the effort, of doing too much and putting up with too much. But also, great relationships don’t just happen when two compatible people get together. You have to intentionally grow and change and become right for each other. You’ll have fights and idiosyncrasies that you have to work through. You’ll have to grow and change and compromise as well as figuring out how not to do it too much.
A happy marriage is a long term collaborative project. But the individuals have to understand when it isn’t something that’s on the table and learn to walk away. I’m radically pro divorce and also happily married.
It’s both. It’s easy to fall into a pattern of fighting for a relationship that isn’t worth the effort, of doing too much and putting up with too much. But also, great relationships don’t just happen when two compatible people get together. You have to intentionally grow and change and become right for each other. You’ll have fights and idiosyncrasies that you have to work through. You’ll have to grow and change and compromise as well as figuring out how not to do it too much.
A happy marriage is a long term collaborative project. But the individuals have to understand when it isn’t something that’s on the table and learn to walk away. I’m radically pro divorce and also happily married.