My partner and I had our second a few weeks ago and I received a number of 100% genuine (and appreciated) “have fun with the kiddo” and “enjoy this time while it lasts” messages and you know what? I fucking hate the newborn phase.
Lack of sleep makes me angry, and the entire newborn phase is a red tinted haze of fury. Here i am in the middle of the GODDAMN night rocking this fucking potato for 45 fucking minutes and it’s just staring at me without blinking having the time of its goddamn life. My fucking feet hurt, I’m getting fat because food is the only thing that brings me the tiniest flicker of happiness, my partner is frankly a raging bitch and I’m sure I am in return, the toddler loses his mind at the drop of a hat, and I’m supposed to enjoy it?
Nothing about this is enjoyable. I hate every fucking second and I can’t wait to sleep train this goddamn barnacle who I CAN’T EVEN HELP CALM BECAUSE I’M NOT THE ONE BREAST FEEDING and I guess that means the only person the baby will relax with is mom. Being helpful and competent are core aspects of my self image, and this mindless sack of shit has robbed me of that.
I’m so fucking tired.
I can sympathize. I’m at 5.5 months now and it’s way way better. He is lovely, adorable and I kiss him when he’s gone. However man did he suck the life out of me for those first couple of months. I was as furious and frustrated as you described and I had nothing but regrets.
I made it through so all I can provide are tips that helped me
Put in noise canceling headphones and upbeat music. Just because the baby is screaming doesn’t mean you have to hear it.
Second, a blow dryer worked wonders for us. We blow dried that baby constantly. It’s a bit warmer for you now but it worked for us.
Third rope any family member you can into watching them for a bit of time so you can get away. Family members say they want to help then stick them with the baby and get out.
Forth take full on turns. Get out and run or something to get energy out and let your partner do the same.
Fifth try and get to a point where pumping and bottle feeding is a thing. Dad bottle do wonders for bonding.
Last it will get better but you don’t need to feel guilty. It’s a selfish scream potato that is hell bent on testing your sanity. Just concentrate on making it through the next months with every one and your relationships healthy and you will have succeeded with flying colors.