Markets are down for people meanwhile I literally just got a text from a friend: oh man I don’t know what to do, looks like I just became a millionaire overnight. Should I sell?
…my guy. Sure I’m happy for you, but you’re literally stressing out to a guy who lives in a fucking garage and whos retirement plan is a shotgun in the mouth.
That’s not far off to what my actual plan is, but for the sake of “humor” I wanted to keep it concise lol
I actually have an idea based on the assisted suicide pods that I’ll probably do. Just need to get an airtight head covering and a pressure relief valve to keep the internal pressure low enough that it doesn’t hurt and hook up a tank of nitrogen to the head covering.
Supposedly it’s the buildup of CO2 that makes your body freak out, so if you can keep expelling it from your body and the relief valve lets it out of the head covering while keeping the nitrogen coming in it shouldn’t be too unpleasant… Hopefully… Lol I still have like 20 years to figure it out though, not doing anything while my parents are still alive.
Markets are down for people meanwhile I literally just got a text from a friend: oh man I don’t know what to do, looks like I just became a millionaire overnight. Should I sell?
…my guy. Sure I’m happy for you, but you’re literally stressing out to a guy who lives in a fucking garage and whos retirement plan is a shotgun in the mouth.
My retirement plan is a tank of helium and clear bag. Gonna watch the ocean, and make myself laugh with funny Mickey mouse voice and drift off
There are two ways to interpret this and the funnier one is that you’re going fill a bag with helium and fly off into the sunset like in the movie UP.
That’s not far off to what my actual plan is, but for the sake of “humor” I wanted to keep it concise lol
I actually have an idea based on the assisted suicide pods that I’ll probably do. Just need to get an airtight head covering and a pressure relief valve to keep the internal pressure low enough that it doesn’t hurt and hook up a tank of nitrogen to the head covering.
Supposedly it’s the buildup of CO2 that makes your body freak out, so if you can keep expelling it from your body and the relief valve lets it out of the head covering while keeping the nitrogen coming in it shouldn’t be too unpleasant… Hopefully… Lol I still have like 20 years to figure it out though, not doing anything while my parents are still alive.
Look at money bags over here! Able to afford shotgun shells when they retire.
The rest of us will have to just take a nap under the neighbor’s F150
An F150? You must live on the nice side of town. I just need to stomp around on my neighbor’s porch for a bit before it all comes crashing down
Well now, who’s so fancy they have a neighbor with a porch?
Sell what?
The stocks that grew in value overnight making him a “millionaire”
Their body, obviously.
Assuming they are an American getting drafted