Two of our secrets of 19 years together and counting are having two comforters on the bed and each a pair of sleep earbuds which double as ear plugs because 100% that is what one of us is listening to.

This is so fuckin real. SO listens to Bigfoot cryptozoology pocasts while going to sleep and half the time I wake up to creepy ass conversations about demons.

No thank you!

I mean, sometimes I switch it up and listen to a podcast about infectious diseases instead of true crime.

Boomer jokes : Bitches be shopping!
Millenial jokes : Wives are psychos that listen to true crime podcasts.

Authors’ unnecessarily personal note : As an edgy teen, my favourite true crime book series was Chopper