Editor’s note: this is a post about American Independence Day celebrations
existentialmemes
Alright, I’m going to launch explosives around your house. For several hours. Yes it is dangerous and terrible for wildlife and the environment. And yes your pets will get sick from eating the debris and you will feel terrorized inside your own home.
No you can’t opt out of it. Everyone is doing it and frankly it’s weird that you don’t want to.
No you can’t be the one launching the explosives you need a license for that. You can however launch these marginally smaller ones though. Yeah just whenever you want. 2am sounds great.
So anyway, fireworks were a mistake and it’s never too early to start reminding you of that.


I don’t make a big deal about them them on the 4th on for New Year’s. They can be fun and people love the experience.
But they also terrify my dogs, so the other 363 days of the year I’ll call the cops.