Hi, I’m a traveling trampoline salesman. Would you be interested in a quick pitch?

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If it makes you feel better, you can eat my salad

fuck me, you got me good I’m mad I laughed as long as I did

Just a miserable day to be literate…

Oh my bad, I’m hard of hearing. Been listening to too many aunts.

That person is a liar!! I listen to ants all the time and the only sound they make is smooth jazz.

grabs pool floaty and a fruity drink

Florida here - either give us to Mexico or sink us into the ocean