Actually this is genuine advertising material. I know, I worked for FiUNlOC’KX teacakes at the time.

So were the Normans, but that doesn’t mean it’s moral to shoot Frenchmen today.

Not sure about that. I know a couple of Scottish guys who walked 1000 miles. Alright, it took them 2 stints but if they did that, then 300 shouldn’t be impossible at all, particularly not with a car.

Avocados for an Aubergine.

I mean, they’re vaguely similar in shape, sort of, and colour, not really but sometimes they’re both dark, and they both begin with A, but no-one enjoyed the guacamole at our party 😞