Real gaslighters LOVE the opportunity to further twist facts, or maybe its compulsion. Its better to either disengage entirely or focus on one or two key points their bullshit cannot change
Therapyspeak is a weaponized toolkit for typically BPD/sociopaths/narcissists to manipulate the situation into them always being right, and the only person whose thoughts and feelings and intentions matter.
It is extremely unforunate that this is the case… but it is the case.
Here’s a maybe relatable shit test:
Are you having conversations with a person that resemble diatribes/debates from SexPestiny or Thor/PirateSoftware?
They conceed a point, and then immediately minimize it, flip to another rheotrical/emotional attack angle where they are the victim or you are the perpetrator, never actually allowing anything approaching a consensus as to the actual facts of the matter, all stated together?
Yep, that’s a sociopathic narcissist that put a bunch of skill points into therapyspeak/debate rhetoric.
They’re grandiose, and slippery; they’ll do anything to avoid someone else being able to nail down the actual factual foundations of their argument or perspective.
They do this because they must maintain narrative control/framing, everything is a battle of image and reputation, not the actual things that those originate from… thats both their strategy and just part of how their brains work.
They’re essentially incapable of realizing or fully processing that they’ve made a substantial error, and they’re also basically just not capable of separating ‘how they felt about something’ from ‘something’; at best this is enormously difficult for them, as they have very poor ability to regulate their emotions.
My ex-boss was like this. I felt so much better after he was gone, that is how I realized what a massive piece of shit he really was. My job and life were suddenly much easier, my mental health got much better, and I could think a bit clearer.
I feel like a lot of people on lemmy, a lot of reddit refugees… well basically they seem like 10 year younger versions of me, or something similar.
Thus… well fuck, psychoanalyzing myself a bit: I’m basically trying to be the dad or I guess just any kind of actual postitive mentor I wish I’d had, when I say things like this.
‘Its dangerous to go alone, read this!’
But yeah, laughter can help, and is a good part of any kind of discussion of the insane bullshit in this world… it doesn’t have to be just always jokes all the time, as s coping mechanism… it can be sanity-affirming for a blunt autist such as myself to just wholly explain the nonsense.
That being said: I’m not infallible. Ideally, don’t believe a thing I say, verify it.
Welp, you’ve nailed why I find it so ironic/hillarious when I’m told, at length and in excessive/invented detail, that I haven’t internalized/accepted my own failures enough.
Mind you, it almost never involves (even meta-physical)injury or inconvenience to anyone else, so there’s a lot of lip-flapping from people who can explain everything they have a problem with except for how what’s being complained-about is any of their business or problem.
I’ve been abused by enough narcissists that yeah, I’ve got some rough edges to me, but frankly, I’m fine with that; a whole lot of people just fucking suck, and its a reasonably effective autorepellant for people who are too full of themselves to take a joke or criticism.
Honestly, I’m the opposite. Fools are the only company I’m fit for, but “smart” fools if I can find them, if that makes sense. I try to avoid feeling like the “smart” one, although that avoidance hasn’t required any effort for me among my friends for literal decades by this point.
You have to disengage once you know they’re actually doing it. Same with any manipulative behavior. But if you’re really not sure, I’ve had luck pressing them on why what they’ve said doesn’t make logical sense. If they can’t support it, I can dismiss it and disengage.
Real gaslighters LOVE the opportunity to further twist facts, or maybe its compulsion. Its better to either disengage entirely or focus on one or two key points their bullshit cannot change
Therapyspeak is a weaponized toolkit for typically BPD/sociopaths/narcissists to manipulate the situation into them always being right, and the only person whose thoughts and feelings and intentions matter.
It is extremely unforunate that this is the case… but it is the case.
Here’s a maybe relatable shit test:
Are you having conversations with a person that resemble diatribes/debates from SexPestiny or Thor/PirateSoftware?
They conceed a point, and then immediately minimize it, flip to another rheotrical/emotional attack angle where they are the victim or you are the perpetrator, never actually allowing anything approaching a consensus as to the actual facts of the matter, all stated together?
Yep, that’s a sociopathic narcissist that put a bunch of skill points into therapyspeak/debate rhetoric.
They’re grandiose, and slippery; they’ll do anything to avoid someone else being able to nail down the actual factual foundations of their argument or perspective.
They do this because they must maintain narrative control/framing, everything is a battle of image and reputation, not the actual things that those originate from… thats both their strategy and just part of how their brains work.
They’re essentially incapable of realizing or fully processing that they’ve made a substantial error, and they’re also basically just not capable of separating ‘how they felt about something’ from ‘something’; at best this is enormously difficult for them, as they have very poor ability to regulate their emotions.
My ex-boss was like this. I felt so much better after he was gone, that is how I realized what a massive piece of shit he really was. My job and life were suddenly much easier, my mental health got much better, and I could think a bit clearer.
We’ve unfortunately built a society, in the US at least, that literally rewards and promotes sociopathy with money.
These people lie and tell you we live in a meritocracy, which itself is gaslighting.
Sociopaths ‘overperform’ in most kinds of careers, because they’re so manipulative.
Ok, so a lot of us agree on these basic facts, that there is this things wrong with the world, and we need a community that is an anti-venom to it.
Also, hi! You are kind of my favorite Lemmy person for some reason.
I feel like a lot of people on lemmy, a lot of reddit refugees… well basically they seem like 10 year younger versions of me, or something similar.
Thus… well fuck, psychoanalyzing myself a bit: I’m basically trying to be the dad or I guess just any kind of actual postitive mentor I wish I’d had, when I say things like this.
‘Its dangerous to go alone, read this!’
But yeah, laughter can help, and is a good part of any kind of discussion of the insane bullshit in this world… it doesn’t have to be just always jokes all the time, as s coping mechanism… it can be sanity-affirming for a blunt autist such as myself to just wholly explain the nonsense.
That being said: I’m not infallible. Ideally, don’t believe a thing I say, verify it.
Welp, you’ve nailed why I find it so ironic/hillarious when I’m told, at length and in excessive/invented detail, that I haven’t internalized/accepted my own failures enough.
Mind you, it almost never involves (even meta-physical)injury or inconvenience to anyone else, so there’s a lot of lip-flapping from people who can explain everything they have a problem with except for how what’s being complained-about is any of their business or problem.
My new life motto, upon hitting roughly 30:
Suffer no fools.
Be humble, but show no mercy to a hypocrite.
I’ve been abused by enough narcissists that yeah, I’ve got some rough edges to me, but frankly, I’m fine with that; a whole lot of people just fucking suck, and its a reasonably effective autorepellant for people who are too full of themselves to take a joke or criticism.
Honestly, I’m the opposite. Fools are the only company I’m fit for, but “smart” fools if I can find them, if that makes sense. I try to avoid feeling like the “smart” one, although that avoidance hasn’t required any effort for me among my friends for literal decades by this point.
You have to disengage once you know they’re actually doing it. Same with any manipulative behavior. But if you’re really not sure, I’ve had luck pressing them on why what they’ve said doesn’t make logical sense. If they can’t support it, I can dismiss it and disengage.