• merc@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
      13·
      11 天前

      Aside from doing it all over, can you imagine the horror of having all the skills, memory and mind of a fully mature person trapped in the body of a baby?

      • mtpender@piefed.socialEnglish
        11·
        11 天前

        Can you imagine knowing that when you hit 35 you have a brain injury due to an A.V. malformation, almost die, wake up in hospital, become permanently disabled and have to learn to walk again?

        …Yeah…

          • mtpender@piefed.socialEnglish
            3·
            10 天前

            From Google:

            “A brain arteriovenous malformation (AVM) is a rare, abnormal tangle of blood vessels connecting arteries and veins, bypassing normal brain tissue. It typically forms before birth and can cause seizures, headaches, or neurological issues, though many are asymptomatic until they rupture, causing a dangerous brain hemorrhage.”

      • Digit@lemmy.wtfEnglish
        4·
        10 天前

        having all the skills, memory and mind of a fully mature person trapped in the body of a baby

        Trapped?

        I’d not be able to contain myself, and would speak, and ambulate, immediately… wowing people to such a spectacle… a talking dancing baby, who can espouse advanced philosophical notions, challenge people to reflect on their epistemology, and even warn of crooked ploys put upon the world. … Oh dear… I did not want to become a religious icon.

        I’m presuming the baby continues to grow up normally, and is not an eternal baby-body prison… and that “all the skills” includes psyche-motor skills. … And best of both worlds, able to learn like a baby too, vividly retaining near everything, contrast to old-man brain (where decades of toxin accumulation and stress have impaired neurogenesis and learning capacity).

        • merc@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
          2·
          10 天前

          I’d not be able to contain myself, and would speak, and ambulate, immediately

          You might know how to speak with an adult’s vocal chords, or to walk with an adult’s body. I doubt you’d be able to do either with a tiny baby’s body.

            • merc@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
              1·
              9 天前

              Yes, and as an adult I have no idea how to walk around as a baby, speak with a baby’s vocal chords, etc. The only body I’m used to using is my current adult body.

                • merc@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
                  12·
                  7 天前

                  Yes, and as an adult I have no idea how to walk around as a baby, speak with a baby’s vocal chords, etc. The only body I’m used to using is my current adult body.

  • Tanis Nikana@lemmy.worldEnglish
    421·
    11 天前

    I’m suddenly a 40-year old woman in the body of a baby boy. Overnight: the following things are true:

    • I’m in Japan. My English is borderline-perfect, once my face and throat can express it. It’s okay, I was born to white parents who are English speakers, but they didn’t raise me with English. We’ll see where this goes in my new life.
    • My wife, who I’ve fallen asleep to every night, is now 3-year old kid in Illinois. I will miss her deeply and I cannot even grieve without arousing suspicion. Her existence at this point in her life is miserable. I know what she’s suffering through and which address she’s suffering at. Even if I went to go see her, she wouldn’t know who I am. I don’t look like me. She also hasn’t met me yet.
    • I know full well that I’m trans and I know that my mother and father are hostile to such notions, and I know there’s nothing I can even do at that point in time.
    • Everything I have read, watched, and played doesn’t exist yet. There’s embedded cultural touchstones that I reference that don’t exist yet. I’m also a baby.
    • Most of my favorite music doesn’t exist yet. I will hum songs by Hitorie, The Beths, South Arcade, Battle Tapes, and Emi Nakamura under my breath decades before they’re written. This is a problem.
    • The technology I use to make my art doesn’t exist yet. Digital cameras at the turn of the millennium were ass.
    • I’m still 40. I can’t pursue my hobbies and works. I can’t take pictures (yet). DSLRs don’t exist.
    • One of my two strokes gets undone. My body moves somewhat easier. However, I still think and interact with the world like I’ve had two.
    • The house I’m living in now hasn’t been built yet then.

    In summary, endless culture shock. I would panic forever. My life would immediately be one of those television shows where suspicion keeps mounting against the main character and there’s jack shit anyone can do to stop it.

    I suppose I could tell her that in sixteen years, 9/11 is happening and what transpires, down to Kevin Cosgrove’s phone call. She’d panic and try to contact the feds, and I’d just say that Bush already knows. It’s in the commission report that doesn’t exist yet.

    That might actually radicalize them…

      • Tanis Nikana@lemmy.worldEnglish
        4·
        10 天前

        Oh, well then, I’d still be grieving my wife, who doesn’t know where I’m at, and my parents in their seventies will be freaked.

        • Jarix@lemmy.worldEnglish
          5·
          10 天前

          Well it says all skills and memories so just explain it to them and hope for the best!.

          Uh hello wifey I’m a talking infant. I guarantee this is weirder for me than it is for you.

          Okay you need to understand I just got isekai’d but not in the fun way… you are going to have to teach my parents what isekai is. Then we tell them together.

          Edit is italics “for clarity of intent”

      • StillAlive@piefed.worldEnglish
        2·
        9 天前

        That’s even worse.

        I have to relive all my life so far on a planet with worsening climate change? I’d kill myself as soon as possible.

  • tacosanonymous@mander.xyzEnglish
    361·
    11 天前

    The way I’m reading this is that I’m turned into a baby in this moment. Why is it everyone else is assuming time travel?

    • Cethin@lemmy.zipEnglish
      6·
      11 天前

      Your option means to probably just die. Assuming it’s a 0 second old baby, you’re not going to be able to take care of yourself or move around to get help. You’ll just lie there and starve. Traveling back to your birth means you’re with your parents.

    • Digit@lemmy.wtfEnglish
      6·
      10 天前

      I think because of the idiomatic

      What would you do with a second chance?

    • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.todayEnglish
      2·
      10 天前

      Would be fucking stupid if you just got babified? You could hardly even move, and no one around to take care of you, adults don’t take you seriously no matter what, you have to get a new ID, and start life from zero. The ONLY advantage is pristine health and a bit longer before you are old.

  • Glytch@lemmy.worldEnglish
    26·
    10 天前

    Depends on if it’s de-aging or time travel.

    If I’m just de-aged and left in the present I would try and become a real life Baby Herman from Roger Rabbit and go into comedy.

    If it’s time travel I’d try not to make the same mistakes but then end up making all different ones and ruining my life in new and interesting ways.

    • boonhet@sopuli.xyzEnglish
      10·
      10 天前

      Yeah if I’m a baby in 2026 with my 2026 skills and knowledge, it’s not particularly useful because I don’t want to start literally working as a newborn and in 20 years my skillset might not be as relevant anymore. Not to mention the whole “oh buy a bunch of Bitcoin” thing ain’t gonna work if it’s already at (whatever it is now).

  • rizzothesmall@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    23·
    11 天前

    Genuinely?

    I’d not be such a tremendous cringey dork as a kid.

    I would not latch onto that one girl who did not give a shit about me.

    I would fully avoid the one girl who did like me but then completely fucked me up.

    I would move out of my toxic dickhead dad’s house before he got my bedroom raided by police.

    I’d buy a load of bitcoin when I saw it for like 12p and thought “nah, that’s just for criminals, I don’t want to be associated with that”

    But then…

    If I can’t achieve those things while also meeting my wife and having the exact same kids that I have now then I would honestly not change a damn thing. Scars and all.

  • Cypher@aussie.zoneEnglish
    17·
    11 天前

    I would rule the playground with my knowledge of Pokemon and distribute Mew to those whose dex languishes at 150.

    • T. Hex@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
      11·
      11 天前

      Imagine how creepy that would be from her perspective. Someone shows up and is trying a little too hard to be friends, that’s weird but ok. But now they know things about me that I never told them. Eek!

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.worldEnglish
        4·
        11 天前

        “Hey, I know you’re just some 20 year old college student, but have you ever considered that you might be a lesbian?” Coming from an 18 year old who is clearly pleading for this all to go better than she’s had nightmares of and is unwilling to wait another 6 years to meet you in a dungeon.

        Alternatively I do wait, but I’m no longer the kind of fucked up I was then. What began with us being in a similar emotional state and thriving on the raw honesty of “hey, I just got out of a relationship that went sour because I realized what I needed, so I’m probably not ready for a relationship, but know what I want” being “hey, I know way too much about you and am actively desperate for you specifically, but I love you so please give me a chance.”

    • Digit@lemmy.wtfEnglish
      2·
      10 天前

      I already did that this time around. Lost the love of my life from my fumble.

      … This next time though… :D

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        10 天前

        The good news is I actually don’t believe there’s any one soul mate. Were I to actually find myself in that position I very likely would get over her in high school or something and move to resolve my other issues with life, get my shit together younger, come out at a young age, study more, get into a better school, pick a better major, push my mom to get her headaches checked out sooner… with all that, I’d probably be able to leave Ohio sooner and possibly before I would meet her. But also who would I be then? I certainly wouldn’t date my ex, (and thus might end up homeless after college if I don’t get my shit together earlier), and so I wouldn’t be able to bond over our similar exes. We wouldn’t be able to grow together in the same ways, and so even if we did find each other again she’d become someone different and so would I and I’d still be haunted by memories of a different her.

        Also we aren’t monogamous and so I definitely wouldn’t be waiting for her. So there’s a good chance I’d find someone else and marry her. It would be deeply unfair and unwise to self destructively chase after a woman with whom my early relationship involved a lot of making sure we’d both be ok if the other left (we both had bad histories with people attempting codependence and so we forced ourselves into a secure attachment style from my anxious-disorganized and her avoidant).

        So yeah soul mates aren’t real, but wonderful loving long term relationships are.

  • Th4tGuyII@fedia.io
    11·
    11 天前
    1. Buy into Bitcoin while its young
    2. Become a Crypto Bro, shilling to hell and back
    3. ???
    4. Become Billionaire
  • Kaligalis@lemmy.worldEnglish
    9·
    11 天前

    I would definitely avoid some mistakes and start saving early. If this also involves time travel, I mine Bitcoins and keep them.

  • samus12345@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    8·
    11 天前

    You know how people who go back in time always try to kill Hitler? Well, he was already gone when I was a baby, but someone else would not be…

    • WoodScientist@lemmy.worldEnglish
      4·
      11 天前

      The real key is to find a way to commit your timeline-corrective murders while you yourself are still very young in the second run through. That way it’s all juvenile crimes on your record!

      Alternatively, you could probably change the timeline without resorting to homicide. For example, let’s say you don’t want someone to become president. Send them a hundred copies of a letter. On that letter, state that you are a psychic, and that you are writing them to give them a warning. You tell them the future can still be changed, but on their current path, they are headed for a cruel end. You then list a bunch of future events, including some from their life. And then you include one final one at the end.

      For example, let’s say you wanted to prevent Trump from getting elected president. Send him a letter in 1996 telling him the future. Describe all sorts of future events. Maybe even throw in a few he can make a little bit of money off of. Hell, put in some stock tips. You want him to think you really have his best interest at heart. But then, for the final prediction, state that on the current timeline, he will run for president in 2016 and be assassinated on the campaign trail. Then provide a list of future calamities this apparently caused. Tell him that if he declines to run in 2016, then all sorts of good things will happen.

      • Digit@lemmy.wtfEnglish
        2·
        10 天前

        That gets me wondering… If we’d managed to avert/thwart 9-11, would the tech from the disclosure project’s press club a mere 4 months prior, have managed to get out, and by now in 2026, we’d have long been living in a jetsons/startrek high-tech more-utopian world?

        Think of the unnecessary “resource wars” of the past quarter a century that could have been completely averted, with the successful campaign to de-secret all the various emancipatory technologies hidden in the past century of banker-led wars. Think of the near total absence of pollution from our technology. Even the electrics, honed to cymatic cromulence. … */Dreamer*

      • Digit@lemmy.wtfEnglish
        1·
        10 天前

        Oh, I thought Hitler killed his body double, and fucked off to south america…

        … The internet’s misbehaving for me today. Websearches are refusing to provide me with the image purported to be Hitler, as an old man, completely bald, no moustache, in Argentina. All websearches are giving me are the CIA mock-ups of what they thought Hitler could have disguised himself to look like, and the “Adolf Schrittelmayor, Tunga, Colombia, 1954” one. … Oh and an implausible grainy one, claimed to be him, with his dark skinned wife. There’s a better one, looks just like him, much later than 1954, much higher quality image too, that I had intended to post here… instead you get this lame story about how I failed to find it in a timely manner.

    • Digit@lemmy.wtfEnglish
      1·
      10 天前

      The problem is, most of the likely targets are front-men puppets, and the puppet-masters hide in the shadows. Finding who to optimally eliminate (or otherwise redirect their life, without murder), to mend the world, is no easy task. It’s murky at the “top”.