It’s a fictional vignette with a contrived twist. You should argue that the boyfriend reveal doesn’t make sense.
The original sentiment this is a variation on is showing up for a stranger who seems uncomfortable or feeling harassed in an unwanted social interaction by giving them an invented out. That’s what most people are assuming the context is.
You make the point that not all men who hit on women at the gym are rapists/creeps, they just need to learn social norms. Well, this is a social norm: going up to a stranger with no context/prior conversation and saying “Your body part is appealing to me, want to go out?” Is not socially okay because it’s perceived as leery and objectifying, like you’re shopping for a car, not trying to form a connection.
Here’s another social norm: Chat people up at the gym and see if they’re even open to having a normal fucking conversation with you like you’re both human beings. Learn something about them if they are. Then go from there.
TL;DR: Hit on people in a humanizing way, not in a creepy way.
Not every instance of this is social incompetence.
Many men who do this are fishing for the specific type of woman who likes it when a guy compliments her body and wants to fuck her. The guy will take 10-20 no’s but eventually find the 1 yes.
A lot of men are sexually ravenous and direct. There is a reason a lot of gay men just fuck all of the goddamned time. They have sex first, then they get to know each other afterward.
Men want to have a real conversation with a real human being, its just that if they’re attracted to them they just would prefer to do that after nutting in said human being. Clears their mind.
Sure, I get that and it can be difficult to find a match who’s down with that. They gays have Grindr for that, with filters and labels and shit. But even that gets toxic for some gay men.
I think we still have to deal with the fact that this kind of fishing can make 20 people feel shitty for every one that enjoys the attention. I also think there should be limits on where and how much this behaviour is acceptable.
Like, clearly if everytime you wanted to work out it would get at least annoying if, as an extreme example, you had a dozen women interrupt your workout to ask if you’d be up for eating out their asshole, because it’s hard to find people into that. I don’t know what you’re into, but assuming you’re not or even put-off by ass-eating, I imagine it’d start feeling shitty real quick, especially if you’ve been guarding against women leering at you like you’re a potential ass-eater since you were 12, or that one time your date drugged you at the bar and you woke up with her ass on your face.
It’s a fictional vignette with a contrived twist. You should argue that the boyfriend reveal doesn’t make sense.
The original sentiment this is a variation on is showing up for a stranger who seems uncomfortable or feeling harassed in an unwanted social interaction by giving them an invented out. That’s what most people are assuming the context is.
You make the point that not all men who hit on women at the gym are rapists/creeps, they just need to learn social norms. Well, this is a social norm: going up to a stranger with no context/prior conversation and saying “Your body part is appealing to me, want to go out?” Is not socially okay because it’s perceived as leery and objectifying, like you’re shopping for a car, not trying to form a connection.
Here’s another social norm: Chat people up at the gym and see if they’re even open to having a normal fucking conversation with you like you’re both human beings. Learn something about them if they are. Then go from there.
TL;DR: Hit on people in a humanizing way, not in a creepy way.
Not every instance of this is social incompetence.
Many men who do this are fishing for the specific type of woman who likes it when a guy compliments her body and wants to fuck her. The guy will take 10-20 no’s but eventually find the 1 yes.
A lot of men are sexually ravenous and direct. There is a reason a lot of gay men just fuck all of the goddamned time. They have sex first, then they get to know each other afterward.
Men want to have a real conversation with a real human being, its just that if they’re attracted to them they just would prefer to do that after nutting in said human being. Clears their mind.
I wish I was gayer.
Sure, I get that and it can be difficult to find a match who’s down with that. They gays have Grindr for that, with filters and labels and shit. But even that gets toxic for some gay men.
I think we still have to deal with the fact that this kind of fishing can make 20 people feel shitty for every one that enjoys the attention. I also think there should be limits on where and how much this behaviour is acceptable.
Like, clearly if everytime you wanted to work out it would get at least annoying if, as an extreme example, you had a dozen women interrupt your workout to ask if you’d be up for eating out their asshole, because it’s hard to find people into that. I don’t know what you’re into, but assuming you’re not or even put-off by ass-eating, I imagine it’d start feeling shitty real quick, especially if you’ve been guarding against women leering at you like you’re a potential ass-eater since you were 12, or that one time your date drugged you at the bar and you woke up with her ass on your face.
How do you expect people to learn what is supposed to be normal if your reaction to the slightest misstep is to label them a creep and rapist?
You all are exactly why the conservative pipeline works.