It’s a running joke in American politics for Democrats to shit the bed in a dozen winnable states, then spend the next four years insisting “The tiny fringe third party candidate stabbed us in the back!” This, while cozying up to the most toxic reactionaries the US has to offer.

You can do a national tour with Liz Cheney and Jeff Flake for the last three months of your campaign. You can spend half a billion dollars on that weird Las Vegas globe thing, running annoying ads that only other DC consultants pay attention to. You can mirror Republican policy on issues Americans absolutely hate. And you can bend over backwards for the most horrid stew of reactionary oligarchs.

But it’s still always those damned foreigners, those stupid independent voters, and the insidious Internet Leftists who are to blame when you lose.