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Admittedly took me far too long to confirm this was, indeed, satire.
Same…
Do not become addicted to water!
Do not, my friends, become addicted to food. It will take hold of you and you will resent its absence.
They are dependent and crack marketed as food though.
Brother, you can have my oats.
Fattest nation in history… is this even satire?
Sigh, perhaps the title could use some work.
Edit: fixed it.
