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slothrop @lemmy.ca to The Onion and other satire w/ layers@sh.itjust.worksEnglish · 7 days ago

Paramedics Praised For Being Too Late To Save Lindsey Graham - The Onion

theonion.com

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Paramedics Praised For Being Too Late To Save Lindsey Graham - The Onion

theonion.com

slothrop @lemmy.ca to The Onion and other satire w/ layers@sh.itjust.worksEnglish · 7 days ago
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Paramedics Praised For Being Too Late To Save Lindsey Graham
theonion.com
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WASHINGTON—Emphasizing that every second counted during a cardiac episode, doctors on Monday praised first responders for being too late to save Lindsay Graham from an aortic dissection. “Paramedics had a very short window to save Sen. Graham, and thankfully they did not make it in time,” said George Washington University Hospital cardiologist Dr. Eric Fallstaff, […]
  • trainsrkool@lemmy.ml
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    7 days ago

    r/AteTheOnionButInAGoodWay

    • DrakeAlbrecht@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      r/LostLemmings

    • expatriado@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      with “the onion” on the title?

      • Deacon@lemmy.world
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        7 days ago

        these are crazy times. The Onion owns InfoWars, up is down, down is up.

        • mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works
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          7 days ago

          And Alex Jones just sponaeously exploded in his car after eating dozens of pounds of food from Whataburger

          • ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one
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            7 days ago

            And now there is a fake Alex Jones claiming to be the real Alex Jones.

          • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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            7 days ago

            There’s a scene in Idiocracy, I think set in the Lincoln bedroom at the White House, where Rita and Not Sure are talking. Secretary Sure is standing at the window looking down at the “crops” the water out of the toilet is supposed to grow, and Rita is sitting on the bed eating a homogenous yellow substance out of a gallon-size tub with her finger.

            That’s what I imagine as Alex Jones’ diet.

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