“Falsehood flies, and truth comes limping after it, so that when men come to be undeceived, it is too late; the jest is over, and the tale hath had its effect: […] like a physician, who hath found out an infallible medicine, after the patient is dead.” —Jonathan Swift

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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 25th, 2024

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  • No, really, this even happened to me personally one time. I was young, newly employed, didn’t really know how things worked, and through some inept accident missed my lunch break one day.

    When I came into work again, I was pulled aside by a perplexed supervisor who told me that I cannot under any circumstances miss lunch breaks. I don’t care if it was ethically important to them personally; what I know for sure is that they were not fucking around with legally required lunch breaks.




  • “Hey, everyone, it’s ya girl Lizstagram here back with more dating tips. It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighborhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.”



  • That’d be really weird given how detailed the crab is, because the astacids – lobsters and crayfish – are globally distributed like crabs. The E.T. thing doesn’t even have the right number of limbs, which is why I had to either invoke infraorder Anomura or assume a bilateral congenital limb defect.

    It’s actually like the product of trisexual reproduction between E.T., a lobster, and an arachnid.