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isn’t this a decades long myth?
Don’t tell the Jehovah’s Witnesses, they’ll use it to further justify their insane anti-blood transfusion beliefs.
This also works for hangover recovery.
Coconut water is awesome!
You can actually just drink it if you’re hung over in most cases.
Oh dear.
Yes, that is what I meant, but … I now realize I should have specified that.
Yes, you don’t need to mainline the coconut water for it to be good for you lol!
Mainlining a coconut for a hangover would be so rock and roll though
Coconut is not a nut.
Its also not a coco
Similar to how a red panda isn’t a panda or wild rice isn’t rice or a sichuan pepper isn’t a pepper… yeah there’s a lot of these.
Panda bears were named after red pandas, both in Chinese and English.
Where are you going to get a coconut on the Western Front? Some kind of swallow-based logistics system?
A swallow couldn’t carry a coconut from the tropics, they don’t have the mass and thrust of flying necessary to lift and carry one that far.
A swallow, carrying a coconut?
If it’s an African one. Not sure about the European one if we’re talking young coconuts, those things are heavy.
African ones are non migratory though.
Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
Not at all, the swallow could’ve carried it by the husk.
Yeah, where were they fighting, the Pacific or something?
I’m guessing this was somewhere in the pacific
No man, you gotta upgrade to Big Gulp based logistics.
Gets interesting when you start to wonder why a coconut and human blood have the same concentration of electrolytes.
The short answer is most of life on Earth shares some basic levels of chemistry. That doesn’t mean it’s a perfect fit though, just that human bodies are resilient enough to make due with terrible substitutes at times.
I think if people really understood that anything you eat and drink is also going into your bloodstream we might all be a lot more careful about what we consume.
This machines is fueled by Hamburgers and greased by it’s fat.
Or why they both scream when you crack them open to get at the yummy liquid inside
We are all coconuts. Someone tell the crab people!
(I screenshotted this and sent it to Rust programmers)
They don’t, not enough sodium in coconut juice for one thing.
I guess you first use the clean juice to make the wounded stop dying long enough so you can stitch what’s left of them together, and if they wake up you could tuck a salt pill under their tongue.
Yeah it’s actually a really shitty substitute for blood, it’s just slightly less shitty than dying. It was all about keeping the blood pressure high enough so that what little blood you had would work. Coconut water was one of the only things that could do that without also killing you. It’s still a very bad day
Well you could always go the boiled water and some salt route. “Yo dog I heard you liked shock so I infused some water with bacteria antigens in it so you could go into shock while you’re going into shock.”
Way too much potassium too (and gives a hint as to why it burns at the infusion site just like a k run would). It’s like d5w with potassium and mag. Potentially quite deadly over the long term. Thankfully the glucose in the coconut water treats hyperkalemia or it would be deadly in the short term.
They’re actually perfect because they double up as cannon balls too
And bras for womenfolk stranded on the island.
I would rather die
But with no transfusions you would be a husk of a man by the end.
An unusual reaction to the prospect of having your life saved, but far easier to arrange than other solutions I guess.
There is no greater disappointment for me than biting into something without suspecting a thing, and my taste buds then suddenly being assaulted by the vileness dubbed “coconut flavor”.
In case my remains are consumed by animals or plants, I can’t put them through something I hate so much. I mean, do we even know how long this will make you taste like coconut?!
This is no longer about what you want, we’ll just inject pineapple juice and rum in your other arm and bring you to party down with some vampire hotties.
I used to think coconut water tasted a little funny (odd mix of sweet, earthy, and umami, not like the coconut flesh at all). Then one day after a particularly long hot hike, I tried it again. I’d been hiking through a natural area that had lots of coconut palms. Crews had been clearing out some invasive species. This is relevant because they’d been using the same trails and had cut open and presumably drunk the water from dozens of coconuts along the way as they worked. These guys must know something I didn’t, so I looked into coconut water as a drink because I’d never heard of such a thing at the time.
Anyway, this is all to say that I gave coconut water a second chance when my body really needed it and although it tasted exactly as I remembered it I suddenly found that it tasted fucking amazing. I’ve been a convert since then. I used to drink Gatorade, but now Gatorade just tastes salty, like Kool-aid made with ball sweat by comparison.
but it goes in your blood?
Yes, and if anything were to eat me, it would have the same experience I have eating a chocolate.bar with coconut in it :(
If you’ve never been somewhere that has fresh coconut you should try it once. For me old brown coconuts in grocery stores, or dried coconut or the fake flavoring in candies etc = disgusting. Fresh coconut is awesome.
If I ever get the chance, I’ll make sure to try!
I mean so would I, but not from coconut juice in my blood.
Now put the lime in the coconut
… Lime juice through an IV is probably going to be extremely painful to endure, and could just kill you.
For starters: “My blood is on fire” is roughly what that would feel like, lime juice is extremely acidic.
Beyond that: It isn’t sterile.
So you’re literally mainlining bacterial infections.
Extremely bad idea, its such a bad idea that it would basically constitute a horrific form of torture/execution.
I’m allergic to coconut so I’m pretty sure this would feel similar to me.
I did not realize one could be allergic to coconut, but yes probably avoid that then lol!
It… probably would not ‘burn’ with the same intensity, as its less acidic than lime.
But… being allergic to it… and then mainlining it… seems like a bad idea that would probably also hurt.
:0
It’s the flesh more than the milk, but yea.
Ahem, well lets hope it wouldn’t end up petrifying you. =P
Please, no shaking the trauma victims.
Now put the *line in the coconut
Piña Colonic
Yeah but the hairs ruin your razor, shaving the puncture site.
Big news for the tropical vampire community
Jackie Chan did it in Who Am I. Amazing 90s movie.
The driving stunts in that movie are so rad, like her 180 reverse parking job.
Get them coconut electrolytes
